Significance of Feeling and Needs

This past week has been a rollercoaster ride. My project completed. Substantially complete and is now in the turmoil of potential change that renders roughly 50% of the effort redundant. I have found it difficult to remain motivated. I have fulfilled my role of leading the team through yet another assault on their work product and the achievements genuinely delivered and it has been difficult to maintain form, structure and leadership in these circumstances. I have felt unmotivated and have low energy myself, but I press on being staunch.

I came out of yesterday feeling highly anxious, physical pain having been felt across my gut, just below the diaphragm for a number of days. I connected with feeling tired, fear that I would not enjoy peace, nor my needs of space, ease, rest, nurturing connection, and tenderness. I realised I was in a familiar mode of offering others love and support, helping them work with the tension, but was not offering any love and support to myself. I recognise that in planning to go away for the weekend with my loved one, I feel afraid of my peace and ease being lost in favour of some issues being tabled that suck me dry of energy. With clarity that my needs are for ease, peace, and to know I matter, I can assert myself and what I need from the holiday, place myself first in my life, and really open to the possibility that my needs can be met, and others can and may choose to support me in doing so. Even if they did not, I can still take time and space for myself and ensure I satisfy those needs myself.

So often our lives are full of confusion, tension and chaos arising from ignoring what we feel and divorcing ourselves from our needs, filling up our lives with unmet needs, and the associated fog of confusion and loss of identity, As we allow ourselves to connect to the needs we have within, we are getting more intimate with ourselves, and the call of fog to our souls and its offer that we get more intimate with ourselves is getting positively answered.